Kaiba and the Magic of Pegasus
by TheGreatSetoK
Summary: Pegasus, Seto Kaiba and two mystery guests go on a journey to the secret world of Candy Land.
1. Chapter 1: A Rude Awakening

Kaiba was in his bed sleeping peacefully, when he heard a tap on the window.

"It's 2 AM, who could it possibly be at this time of day?" Kaiba thought wearily.

He tried to go back to bed, when no less than five minutes later, he heard thumping on the window. He decided that he wasn't going to tolerate this and went to open the blinds to tell them to stop.

"Greetings, Kaiba-boy!"  
"Pegasus! What are you doing up at this hour?" asked Kaiba.

He glared at Pegasus, who was somehow floating in the air, while sitting on a flying toilet.

"Kaiba-boy, can you guess what's inside this box?"  
"Stop with the games, Pegasus. I have something important to do in the morning."

Kaiba shut the blinds and tried to go back to bed, but he heard the sound of glass shattering and the blinds being lifted.

"Come now, Kaiba-boy. Come spend time with Uncle Crawford," Pegasus beckoned.  
"What do you plan on doing with me? I can't leave Mokuba alone!"  
"Who really cares about Mokuba? Aside from you, I mean."  
"Uh..."  
"This might come as a shocker to you, but I've moved onto bigger and better things, like Texas No-Limit Hold 'em Poker."  
"Squadalah, we're off!" Pegasus exclaimed, doing a few loop-de-loops on the way out.

This made Kaiba a bit nauseous, so he took the box that Pegasus had in his hands and went to open it.

"NO! DON'T O-"


	2. Chapter 2: Uninvited Guests

Dark Marik popped his head out of the box.

"Hey, what're you doing in my box?" Pegasus asked.  
"I need a home," Dark Marik replied.

"Not in my box, you idiot!"  
"Why not? It's so warm and cozy! And look who I found, it's Bakura!"  
"Hello," Dark Bakura said.

"Oh boy," Kaiba thought to himself, with his head in his hands. "This isn't going to be pretty."  
"And what are YOU doing in my box?" hissed Pegasus.

Dark Marik and Bakura looked at eachother.

"GAY BOX!" they screamed in unison.  
"I'll construct the propeller!" announced Bakura.  
"I'll make the flag!" Marik cried.  
"Should it be rainbow or a purple triangle?"  
"Purple, like my shirt," Marik nodded excitedly.

Pegasus scratched his head. "What? A flying box?"

"What are you boys on now?" Kaiba asked.

"Creative juices," Marik replied.  
"And caffeine pills," Bakura nodded.  
"Yes, looooooooots of caffeine pills," agreed Marik. "That's why we're up so late."  
"Besides, it can't possibly be any more absurd than a flying toilet…"

"I would have used a magical bed, but the witch already sold it to some woman who flies using an umbrella."

"What about a magi-" Marik began to ask.  
"Sold to a peasant and his monkey," Pegasus interrupted.

Two hours later, Kaiba was about to go insane from hearing Bakura and Marik sing "A Whole New World" for the 40th time.

"Look, will you boys just shut up?" yelled Pegasus. "I'm about to smash both of your heads in if you don't stop singing that song."

They were quiet for the remaining 30 minutes of the ride.

"Okay, we're here, boys!" Pegasus said gleefully. "Now get off of my toilet."


	3. Chapter 3: Sweet Surprise

"Where exactly are we?" asked Kaiba.  
"We're in CANDY LAND! Where pink fluffy clouds made of cotton candy float in the skies, and gourmet chocolate paves the streets!"  
"That sounds really gay," muttered Marik. "Can we go home now?"  
"We just got here," replied Pegasus. "Besides, I'm not the one who wears a purple shirt."

"What's your plan this time?" asked Kaiba. "Are you trying to give us cavities?"  
"Not at all, Kaiba-boy. I have brought you here to sing songs with me…about CANDY!"

"Okay, that's it, I'm out of here," muttered Marik.  
"You're not going anywhere," Pegasus growled. "You're going to sing with me, and you're going to like it!"  
"You and what army?"

Pegasus snapped his fingers, and a horde of peanut butter cups surrounded him.

"Oh I'm so scared of your little Chocolate Brigade," Marik replied sarcastically. "Seriously I can just make them all explode."  
"These little buttercups are impervious to explosions," Pegasus explained.

Marik tried to kick one of them.

"Ow, my foot!"  
"They're also made of titanium," continued Pegasus. "Anyone else want to try and escape?"

Everyone was completely silent.

"Very good!" Pegasus exclaimed. "Now, where should we begin? Ah, yes. Let's start by visiting Papa Gingertree.

And so, off they went.

"Salutations, Mr. Gingertree!"  
"Hello, Mr. Crawford! I see you've brought some friends along."  
"Why yes, I'm glad you noticed for once," Pegasus replied. "Tell us the wonderful story of Candy Land."

"One day, a bored gingerbread boy was playing 'Pick-up Chocolate-dipped Biscuit Sticks' with a 65 Chocolate Bar," he began.  
"What's so special about that?" asked Marik.  
"The mixing of chocolate bars and cookies is a strictly forbidden practice."  
"Does that mean chocolate chip co-"

Pegasus covered his mouth before he could finish, and Mr. Gingertree gasped in sheer horror.

"Chocolate chip cookies are like the mixed races of Candy Land. Nobody wants anything to do with them," Pegasus explained.  
"But they're so delicious," Marik said in a sing-song voice.  
"We don't eat others who live in Candy Land," scolded Mr. Gingertree. "Even if they **are** the black sheep of society."

"Anyways, the Gingerbread boy and his friend became shunned from society. To get back at them, they traveled across the land, searching far and wide for someone that would accept them for who they were. And those people just happened to be humans; hungry humans."

"This is just getting stupider by the minute," muttered Bakura.

"They led a group of teenage boys to their former home in Candy Land. The boys then promptly ate the two of them, as well as..."

Mr. Gingertree stopped for a second as a solitary honeydrop rolled down his trunk.

"What's wrong, Mr. Gingertree?" Pegasus asked.  
"Those boys…they chopped down my wife and…and…"

Mr. Gingertree began sobbing uncontrollably.

"Continue on…"  
"They ate her! I have fifteen little gingerbread boys and girls to take care of, and all she left me in her will was this giant, levitating graham cracker."

"I'm terribly sorry to hear that…"  
"Thanks for your sympathy," Mr. Gingertree replied. "Take it – I'm too depressed to look at it. If only I could see her face once more!"

Pegasus looked over at Kaiba.

"Don't you even **think** about it, Pegasus."

Mr. Gingertree whistled, and four of his children came out carrying a graham cracker that glittered with cinnamon and sugar specks.

"Finally, we can get rid of this flying toilet," said Bakura. "My circulation would get cut off if I sat on it for too long."  
"Too much information…" Kaiba muttered.

"Anyways, thank you. Your kindness shall be repaid one day," Pegasus noted. "Okay boys, let's go visit my good pal, Jolly."


	4. Chapter 4: Nasty Surprise

Suddenly, a strange mustachioed man in a red and black suit adorned with various pieces of licorice smashed their hovering graham cracker as well as the children carrying it.

"YOU SICK SON OF A..."

Before Papa Gingertree could finish his sentence, Marik bit his face off.

"Hahaha," the strange man laughed, twirling his mustache.  
"It's Lord Licorice!" Kaiba yelled.  
"How'd you know my name?" Lord Licorice asked.  
"Mokuba asks me to play this with him all the time."  
"Candy Land is not a mere **game**, dear child," whispered Lord Licorice.  
"Oh? Then what is it?"  
"It is a way of** life**!" Lord Licorice boomed.  
"Gee, I wonder why that sounds familiar," Bakura said sarcastically.  
"Nobody asked you," Kaiba growled.

Lord Licorice looked down at Marik, who was sitting down and eating a chocolate chip biscotti.

"YOU!" Lord Licorice yelled. "I like you. Why don't you join me on my quest?"  
"What did I do?" Marik asked while spitting biscotti crumbs everywhere.  
"Isn't it obvious? You had the guts to do what no other would ever dare to do since the fateful discovery of Candy Land."  
"And that being…?"  
"Eat a resident of the area, of course! Join me, Marik, and I will make your face the greatest in Koridai! Or else you will…oh wait. Wrong land, haha."  
"If you don't stop quoting that…THING, then I'll make your face the tastiest in Candyland!"  
"Touché."

Seeing this as an opportunity to get some action going on, Bakura volunteered.

"I'll join you!" he announced. "After all, there's nothing better than the sweet, sweet sound of innocent civilians burning alive in the back of a Ford Pinto."  
"Who ever said anything about killing people? And what's this 'Ford Pinto' you speak of; is it some kind of jellybean?"  
"Forget it, just let Marik do it."

Lord Licorice called for his serpent named Mr. Twizzles, and flew off to his palace with Marik by his side.


	5. Chapter 5: The Boys in the Tower

Upon arrival at the palace, Lord Licorice helped Marik off of the serpent.

"This is my humble abode," said the Lord. "Open the door, you won't regret it."

The room had a checkerboard tile floor made out of all-sorts. Portraits of people that were in the licorice business covered the walls, which were made of fruit leather. Even the furniture was a cleverly-designed assortment of licorice treats.

"You sure do like licorice, don't you?" asked Marik.  
"They don't call me Lord Licorice for nothing!"

The Lord went into the kitchen and came back with a tray of colorful licorice bits.

"Would you care for some licorice allsorts?" he asked.

Marik popped one in his mouth and gulped it down, nearly gagging. He managed to keep his wits about it, because angering the King of Licorice would be a bad idea.

"You know, Bakura would probably like these," Marik commented.  
"Well Bakura's not here right now, is he?"  
"Yeah, but anyway…what's the grand master plan?"

Lord Licorice went into the basement, and came back with what appeared to be a wand shaped like a licorice stick.

"What's that dinky thing supposed to do?" asked Marik. "You can't possibly kill someone with that."

Since Marik clearly wasn't listening to the brief conversation he had with Bakura, the Lord ignored his remark and led him to the highest point in his castle.

"Put the rod in the hole over there," the Lord said, pointing to the slot in the control panel.  
"Okay," Marik said.

"Finally, after all these years… They won't laugh at me for my obsession with licorice anymore. It's always "Oh look, it's Lord Licorice, or should I say Baron von FAILURE!" and "Get a life!" Well I'm about to put an end to all of that…"

While the Lord was gloating about his plan, Marik decided to "accidentally" put the Millennium Rod in the hole instead of the licorice one.

The room shook for a few seconds, and then everything went completely silent.

"Is this supposed to happen?" asked Marik innocuously.

Taking a moment to gather his thoughts, Lord Licorice replied, "Actually this is the first time I've tried it. For all I know, it could be a dud."

All of a sudden, there was a blinding flash of light, and bolts of high-voltage electricity were shot from the rod, hitting various parts of Candy Land.

"What? That wasn't supposed to happen! Let me take a closer look at what's going on!"

The Lord pushed Marik out of the way, only to see that it wasn't the licorice rod in the slot.

"You fool, you have ruined my plan!" the Lord shrieked, as he tried to pull the rod out of the slot.  
"It's too late," Marik taunted. "It will only come out when it's finished destroying everything in Candy Land."

"Everything?" the Lord whimpered.

The castle shook violently and exploded, sending bits of charred licorice everywhere.

"Yep, everything," Marik nodded.

The Millennium Rod came tumbling down from the sky, and landed right in Marik's open hand. He tested it on the Lord, giving him third-degree burns.

"Haha, and it's still good as new," Marik thought out loud. "I'm out of here."

The Lord began to sob, since he had lost everything. Not just his castle and chance to rule Candy Land, but his beauty as well.

Marik went back over to the rubble where Mr. Gingertree once stood. Kaiba, Bakura and Pegasus were still waiting.

"Marik, what on earth just happened?" asked Kaiba.

"I showed Lord Licorice how to demonstrate authority over another. Everyone knows that licorice tastes horrible."

"Hey!" Bakura shouted. "My host eats it."  
"Have you ever tried it before?" asked Marik.  
"Yes, and it tastes disgusting."  
"See what I mean?"  
"Drat!"

Pegasus was trying hard to hold back his anger.

"Okay boys, let's go back home now!"  
"Alright, I call Gay Box," announced Bakura.  
"No, mine!" replied Marik.  
"I called it first!"  
"Well, I called it second!"  
"Will you two idiots just shut up?" snapped Pegasus. "Otherwise I'll shove both of you into that box and send you off to a third-world country!"  
"I wonder why we never sung those songs," Kaiba said to himself.  
"I don't want to hear a peep from you, Binky-boy," Pegasus growled. Now let's all shut up and enjoy the ride home."

"Or else…"

The End


End file.
